Have you ever heard someone tell you that you’re being out of integrity? Kind of annoying, right? Integrity is a concept that I use everyday in my business - both for myself and my clients - but I don’t use the word the way most people do.
For me, integrity is all about alignment - not right and wrong, and not simply about follow through.
Integrity is about being who you truly are.
And it’s also about NOT being who you’re not.
To illustrate this, I came up with this diagram which I call the Integrity Model.
The space inside the circle represents all the ways that you experience yourself, all the qualities that describe how you show up in your life.
Think about what those words are for you.
When I did this with a client of mine recently, these were the words she came up with: unapologetic, free, successful, and enthusiastic AND apologetic, unworthy, struggling, confused, and small.
I’m sure you can relate - we all experience a wide range of qualities in ourselves.
This is how her model came out:
Now, imagine that you can color code all of these qualities. Blue for the ones that represent the full truth of who you are, red for all the rest. You’ve got all of these parts inside of you, and some are programmed, some are patterns, and some aren’t your material at all.
The value of the colors is helping you sort out which is which.
Here’s how my client sorted hers:
Just the AWARENESS of what truly belongs to you and what doesn’t will change the way you move through the world - you can then make conscious choices to be YOU, and learn from the moments when you’re not being you.
Let yourself be deeply kind in this process - there’s nothing WRONG with struggling, for example. At the same time, if you know you’re here to be BIG, great, successful - then that is who you MUST be. No compromise. No question. No hesitation. There’s simply no reason to wait.
So the first step to being in integrity with who you truly are is simply taking time to sort out what that means for you. Write down all the qualities that you experience in yourself, and then breath, tune in, and be honest about which of those qualities are really YOU - and which aren’t. The ones that aren’t? Give them back.
They don’t belong to you anyway.