In order to hear Yes, you must hear No No No, Part 2

Sales IS service.

Let’s say you want to make 6K in sales this month. You decide to start making your calls and are hearing “No.” True service is…

  • Being unafraid of that answer, and also unafraid to dig into that answer.
  • Asking the person on the other line questions that give him/her the freedom to choose consciously, not habitually, how he/she would like to proceed.
  • Staying detached from your client’s story around his/her resistance.
  • Trusting yourself and your potential client to work together to find the proper way to move forward.
  • Knowing that the sales conversation that results in “No” was an opportunity for that person to exercise his/her right to choose.
  • Providing opportunities for each person to grow, including yourself.

Hearing “No” to the question of working together is not about you being interesting or skilled enough. The question wasn’t “Am I an amazing life coach (healer, teacher, facilitator, yogi)?” (Because you know the answer to that one.) The question was: “Are you, potential client, ready to make the emotional, financial, and bold commitment to challenging some of the things that have kept you feeling safe your entire life, in order to experience something new?” That’s a BIG question. There are all kinds of repercussions of transformation. The butterfly never becomes a caterpillar again, can never re-enter the cocoon. Honor yourself for holding the space and asking the questions they may never have been asked.

Being able to hear “No” broadens your capabilities as a coach. It’s counter-intuitive, as it seems in order to grow as a coach, you must have clients. This is true...but if this person isn’t your client, it means someone else MUST be. It’s essential to learn how to hear the truth of “No”, and to not take it personally, so you can move on to serving the people you’re truly here to serve.

If you are doing sales and being of service: there's nothing you can do to make a person work with you who isn't meant to, and there's nothing you can do to prevent a person who's meant to work with you from doing so. Surrender.

As you may have already surmised, learning to not take “No” personally is important in more than just business relationships. Before a recent and amazingly transformative couples’ retreat with the inimitable Marla Mattenson, I only wanted to hear a “Yes” from my partner. It was an unconscious desire. I have so many preferences and I wanted him to share in all of them. This unrequited desire for him to agree with me on everything turned up as stickiness in all areas of our relationship, from literal physical tug-of-war when walking down the street (I may appear small but I’m FIERCE!), to a lack of harmony in our more intimate moments.

What Marla and my beautiful partner helped show me was that only wanting to hear “Yes” from him meant I wasn’t open to the truth of what he was experiencing. I only wanted to hear YES to my desires - and it totally shut down my curiosity about his preferences. In order to be in true partnership with my beloved, I need to honor, respect, and welcome the truth of his desires - even when it hurts, feels disappointing, or even seems wrong to me.  

When you stand unconditionally in your self-worth and hear what is true for another person, it is one of the most liberating and fulfilling experiences you can offer. That’s when a relationship can truly begin - a partnership.

Are you ready to begin a partnership that will help you to take your business to the next level, blasting past limitations and into the freedom of true service?

I know someone who can help you. (Hint: It’s me).

Contact me and let’s get blasting.

Missed Part 1? Read it here.