You know how the last blog was all about taxes and spirituality? Well, the day after I published that blog, I saw the totals on my own taxes for 2017 and got to take my own advice!
Here’s the truth of what’s happening:
- After 23 taxpaying years of getting refunds of some kind or another, this year I have a six figure tax bill. All told, State and Federal add up to about $150k.
- I saved enough to be able to pay this off in one fell swoop. This is by far the biggest all-in-one payment I’ve ever made.
- I know a handful of people who have a tax bill this big. I’ve never spoken with any of them about this experience. It feels lonely, a bit scary, and unfamiliar to be in this situation.
- My total savings is now about $150k less. Seeing that money leave my account all at once took my breath away. One moment I felt flush and successful. The next, stretched and impoverished - and it happened in a matter of moments.
- That feeling of lack spun me into shame and guilt. I hadn’t saved enough. I did it wrong. I should have done more, done better. Then it wouldn’t be like THIS.
So I went to my own blog as a resource.
Get some freaking help?
Check plus: I have an amazing CPA and finance team.
Work on it all year long?
Check minus: I’ve been saving since May of 2017. I dipped into that savings to make a few unexpected payments before the end of the year. Watch out! Now I have weapons for my self attack!
Let the IRS be part of my team?
Check: I feel great about them, though we aren’t interacting much these days.
What would it look like for you to experience tax season as a spiritual time? A time of retreat and growth, receiving and breakthroughs, reflection and insight? How would you have to shift your attitudes on the inside?
What a helpful reminder this was for me! It helped me stay in an attitude of abundance and gratitude throughout my process. I felt called to a higher standard - to know that this was an opportunity to grow.
This will not be the last time I experience this. I know this will not be my biggest tax bill. This year was a training year, an opportunity to experience a first, and to learn from it. I got to see my own growth edge and lean into it. I breathed and felt gratitude for the amazing year my business has had. I appreciated the truth that I’m able to experience this “problem” of wealth. I decided to use the experience to go deeper and share it with you.
My family patterns around money taught me that worry, hard work, and self sacrifice were necessary to have *just* enough. I grew up thinking that where there was wealth, there was meanness or misery or both.
This is a new era. It’s time for both, not only for me but for everyone who is called to do this integration of spirit and money. As my beloved friend Rha Goddess said today, “We need righteous people playing in our economy.”
It’s time for freedom, ecstasy, pleasure, connection, expression, enlightenment and self mastery. This is the year.