Why is the internet filled with empaths?
Because most people alive today were raised by generations of parents who were unable to respect their children’s boundaries.
So we learned not to HAVE boundaries.
Not having boundaries (and still needing to navigate your dynamics with your parents) meant that you had to anticipate what your parents wanted, needed, and thought… so you could do whatever it was that they desired. So you would stay in their good graces.
I’m not saying this to knock your parents or mine. It’s simply a piece of our culture that makes this trap easy to fall into. And it’s not the truth of what we’re meant to be feeling.
We are not meant to tiptoe around other people’s emotional experiences.
Tip-toeing is not compassion.
It’s fear and codependency.
It’s not allowing ourselves to feel good if anyone else on the planet is not feeling good.
There are two kinds of empathy – the healthy kind, and the kind that’s codependent. This distinction will help you get free in every area of your life.
Are you using empathy as an excuse to block money and avoid growth?
Here’s a short case study:
A client has anxiety about raising their prices because they don’t want their work to become inaccessible; they don’t want people to feel like they’re being cut out, or like they can’t access the thing they need.
On the surface that’s a legitimate concern. Of course, we want to serve our people! Some of those people are in a certain demographic or with a certain amount of income. It’s a reasonable thing to think about.
But as we dug in, what the client found was an over-empathizing with the disempowered part of their ideal client. The part that doesn’t have the money, can’t see the pathway, can’t pay, can’t do the work, and will feel victimized by their lack of access.
I identify with that. Again – it’s not an irrational thing to consider! It may be very important. It’s ALSO possible for codependency to be hiding out beneath the important thing.
Healthy empathy is a combination of true compassion for another + deep recognition of their infinite power and potential always.
Are you using codependent empathy to protect yourself?
Or are you healing it to facilitate transformation on all levels?
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If you’re ready to start your own business, but don’t know where to begin, check out Jesse Johnson’s free online course, “The Energetics of Sales”.