working with tolerations

When I started transforming my tolerations, I was focused entirely on results. Big stuff like how much money I was making, the scale of my business, the way I felt about myself, the level of satisfaction I felt in my relationships. I used my tolerations to create a task list for myself, and transforming the things on that list was how I measured my progress.

Over time, as I’ve transformed a lot of those big tolerations, the tolerations on my list have changed. They’re subtler, more micro. These days, I see my tolerations in the interstitial, the moment to moment little decisions. I see it a lot in my human design, and the places where I have pushed myself in tiny ways to do things I didn’t really have the energy for. 

I ask myself: 

Where do I feel like I can’t change it?
Where do I feel like I have to tolerate it?
Where do I feel like I have to allow this thing that isn’t actually what I want?

And when I find the things to add to my living list, there are two bodies of strategies for transforming tolerations. 

You can change the thing that you’ve been tolerating, or you can change your relationship to the thing you’ve been tolerating, so it’s genuinely not toleration. 

Here’s what it sounds like to do “the flip” and change the toleration into something you truly desire:

I haven’t been giving proper attention to my sexual life – and now I’m going to. Here’s what I’m going to do.
Here’s my action plan.

Here’s what it sounds like to do “the pivot” and change the way you feel about what has been a toleration:

I’ve been making it wrong that I’m not constantly having sex. It’s not wrong, and I’m going to feel good about myself whether I’m having sex or not.

Coming into true resonance with allowing the thing so it’s not a toleration anymore is sometimes the most powerful thing, the most life-giving transformation of a toleration. But for a long time, I didn’t teach my clients how to do this very often because for spiritual people, who I almost exclusively work with, they’re used to renunciation, and it was a little too easy for them to accept their tolerations. They’d say things like, “It’s okay if I don’t have the money that I want and need because Krishna has got me and, you know, what do I need money for?”

And that’s true, and it’s sort of beside the point. If you’re getting stuck there, ask yourself: 

Where is there more life for you?
Where is there more love for you?
Where is there more life for you?
Where is there more pleasure, joy, devotion, alignment, resonance power for you? 

What is the change going to look like?
How loving can you be about making the change?

Source material, A New Foundation, June 9, 2023

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