How to Stop Toxic Comparison

For the past few weeks, we’ve been talking about the sneaky and addictive nature of comparing ourselves to someone (or something) external. 

How we unknowingly use it to sabotage ourselves, and why it can be so hard to break the habit. 

This awareness of harmful comparison is the prerequisite – doing something with that awareness is the radical work. 

That’s what we’re doing today.

Once you realize you’re being sabotaged by comparison – 

How can you make a lasting shift?

This is an underprioritized part of the work in spiritual communities. We may have huge insights out of peak experiences – a medicine ceremony, an EMDR session, a breakthrough coaching call… We gain a huge new awareness. 

We talk about the awareness, we celebrate the awareness; we feel really smart and perceptive because of the awareness. 

We don’t realize that we aren’t actually applying the awareness. 

And so, simply asking the question – “What am I going to do instead?” –  is revolutionary.
What’s the opportunity?
What will I choose?
How will I integrate this awareness into my life, my day to day experience? 

Say I catch myself comparing. I realize that I’m tracking the number of viewers on my videos and I’m looking at someone else and feeling like my stats are ‘too low.’ 

Step One:  I come back to myself and just get present to what’s happening. I am doing this thing. I’m comparing. Okay. 

Step Two:  I ask the question: What do I want to do with the fact that I’m doing that?

This is not hard. It’s revolutionary, but it’s not difficult.
What do I want to do with this awareness?
Whatever your next step is, it almost doesn’t matter. 

Just in training ourselves to take the awareness deeper, to know that we can choose how to apply that awareness, we are reprogramming neural pathways to take a different action, make a different choice. 

And it’s absolutely game-changing. 


If you’re looking to take this a step further and want to understand what I can help you accomplish, book a call with one of our Clarity Coaches.

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