I do not want to say yes to this contrast.

We’ve been moving for the last week. We did so great. We hired full service movers to pack, unload, unpack. We flew out the day that the movers arrived. We didn’t even supervise the move. We flew private, brought the bunny. All that stuff was great. 

Then four days into being in Sedona without our stuff… I’m pregnant, my feet are swollen, there’s no furniture, I can’t put my feet up on anything except the wall, it’s hot as Hades, my body is acclimating to the elevation, and I’m freaking out. 

I’m freaking out. 

I have a huge meltdown. And I’m watching the whole thing happening. I’m like, “This is not me but I can’t help it right now. There’s no relief anywhere. There’s no relief for me anywhere. I can’t find it. I can’t find it emotionally, physically, spiritually. I can’t find it anywhere.” 

I’m not used to that. I’m not used to that level of contrast. 

And there’s a part of me that’s like, “This is just wrong. No! I am putting my feet down – I have higher standards than this! No! This is so unpleasant for me. I do not want to say yes to this contrast. I don’t want the lesson. I don’t want it. Just make me feel better.” 

This is not theoretical when I say it’s so hard to really, truly sink your teeth into the contrast and use it for what it’s for. 

It’s a big, big deal. Big big deal.

Source material, Sales Full Stop, September 16, 2021

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