A note on incorrect mechanics:
If you’re trying to push or force yourself (or force somebody else), you won’t be yourself.
We’re not built to not be ourselves – so it won’t feel good to you to do it that way.
A note on conditioning around people pleasing and codependency:
Your ability, your comfort, your willingness to say the thing in the moment, whatever that thing is – to say the truth – that’s what wins.
If the truth is, “I think of you regularly, and I wonder if we were brought into each other’s lives at this moment in part so that I could support you in this transition in your life,” there is ease there. It’s not difficult to say the thing. It’s sometimes scary. It goes against our social norms. It’s intimate. But when we build our lives to be able to say what we see and say what we feel and say what we know, everything gets so much easier in every arena.
This is why I teach sales.
I teach sales as a spiritual practice because you’ve got to be able to be yourself and tell the truth in sales calls – and if you can do it in sales calls, you can do it everywhere.
When you’re with someone that you don’t want to work with, and you can just say, “I don’t think this is the fit. I don’t think this is working.” That’s what I mean by ease. Ahh, the relief of that truth. No more working to keep the thing together when it doesn’t fit.
What will feel creepy to others is when you are forcing yourself to do something that isn’t correct for you. They will feel it because it isn’t authentic. It is artificial – you’re cutting yourself off from yourself to do it in the first place. That’s the not-self, the “manifestoring”, the forcing, the pushing that you don’t need to do but have been conditioned to think you have to do.
The thing I’m recommending is actually to be your true self and to stop being your people-pleasing, not self. That is ease. That is sustainability. That is alignment. That is dharmic.
Source material, Sales Full Stop, June 14, 2023
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